Sunday, Apr. 04, 2010 at 8:51 p.m.
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What a day when I have to write here and not something good which always wanted to be part of diary... A day when I thought I will be there and celebrate my day with her... At this time I would have returned home from Germany and expected to write some precious moments shared in these 3 days of trip... But no trip and no moments to share but only tears... How things just changed within 35 days and my love faced dreadful attacks of choking breath for these 35 days... the poison was there but it started to react now and finally choked to death after 35 days... The day to celebrate became the death anniversary... What a sweet poison... And none and only your love poisoned it... What a history... I always tried to give her that relief, that comfort and joy with me to last without me... But she couldn't make it last for longer... It started dieing with my absence and it finally died... She could so simply say forget this love and its accomplishment, how easy to just give up the hope of living with me... Once was it thought how it would be without me or how it would be for me... You thought of only waya to make me absorb and go ahead in life but not with me... Every try of mine was put in bin... All my true love and yours even, you just preferred to choke it... You wanted to become stone that's what I gave you my love for but not to cherish that love... Tough but wasn't it worth it... Is everything so easy in life... I wish it was but practically it's not... You started hiding from me only when once it was that you were only so open to me... And you say its normal... Your always supporter and thought for your good became only your good friend like others... Was there no difference I brought to your life compared to others... Was I just so normal to your life before and now... How easy for you to say its fair... You only want to realise when you face a similar situation but how can I put you in same condition for every treatment of yours... I can't... I can't... I can't... Trust me I can't... I wish one day you understand the love of mine in isolation... Can't cut a cake on death anniversary... So will announce the day of moaning in my life when I first proposed you... Tears... tears and tears that make these eyes and cheeks wet... No more words to say..