Monday, Sept. 24, 2012 at 9:10 p.m.

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Its just been 5 days since I have arrived in London with a new life and that is married life. A partner with whom everything changes, every way becomes a new experience and that experience is always thought as a beautiful time. And my five days have just gone in fights every day except for a day when we were out to her sisters place. Every night tears, heart broken and then sleep. Where is all the love that has been hoped for and always dreamt about. Did I wish for all this? Am I the only one who is at fault every single night? Am I the only one who shatters the heart and doesn't realise? Do I not hug her even if I feel it was not my mistake? Just because I can't stay away I can leave aside whose mistake it was and want to be close. Is this wrong? Does this breaks heart? Am I not human with a heart that always wanted love because I have always been away from it. A person who knows me the most today thinks about me in such a different way. Where she thinks every expectation of hers is not being considered. Why life is moving like this? What hurdles are there? Where do I go? I just feel in this time so lonely. Life has changed but hurt is still there. I am blamed and I will take everything and it might be too distant as time moves on because my inner self doesn't allow me to hurt anyone all the time when someone tells you on face every time that I hurt her only. I feel I don't even have the right to shed tears if someone so close has got to say this about me.